As a newly-unemployed person, I’ve been reading a lot of advice from somewhat reputable people. Advice from people who’ve written books. Job hunting advice from HR professionals and job sites. Career advice from people 20 years into their careers. And I’m noticing in a common thread in most of these articles and blog posts: They’re mostly crap (with a few gold nuggets).
Now, it’s easy to assume I’m saying this because I am grumpy, or that I’m saying this from my inexperienced youth, but really I’m saying this as someone who cannot use much of the advice I’m reading. The advice seems to be self-centered explanations of what worked for the adviser, and not necessarily things that would help most people in the given position. The advice seems to be coming from an ivory tower where no one remembers what it’s like to be down in the trenches. It’s like telling a kid who’s facing a beat down to just believe in himself. That’s great, but what the kid can really use are some self-defense lessons.
One day, I’m going to be successful enough to be invited to address an audience with my own pearls of wisdom. I don’t know what I will have learned by then, but here is a random assortment of five things I won’t say.
1. If you’re really meant to be a writer, you’ll find a way to sit down and write every day. That’s bulls**t. Sometimes you want to sleep. Sometimes you want to go out and be a part of living civilization. Sometimes you have nothing to say. Not that you don’t have control over how you’ll react to these things, but it’s misleading that writers dispense this belief without also mentioning the other sentiments they grapple with.
2. Writing requires complete solitude. No. How can you create any rich writing if you never experience anything to understand where that richness comes from? You need to live, then write. You will certainly need moments of unparalleled focus, but that shutting off from the world for a year thing doesn’t make sense to me.
3. Don’t take no for an answer. Sometimes no really means no, like when security is escorting you off the premises, for example. You need to figure out when to persist because it is important, and when you’re unnecessarily obsessing over something and need to take another direction.
4. Don’t feel strange about cold calling. You should feel strange about cold calling. It is strange. This is not 1973, where the only way to get information is to call and ask. Do some research or something. I’ve been on both sides of a cold call, and both times were awkward. It’s especially awkward if what you want isn’t available (no one here has personal assistants ma’am), or if you have no idea who to ask (there are 55 people working at this magazine ma’am), or the person you’re asking not only doesn’t know you, but also can’t help you (I’m just an intern receptionist, I’m not even allowed to give you a yes or no. True story.). Cold e-mailing is better, I think.
5. You can “change the world.” No one person can change the world. You can help change it. You can have the beginnings of an idea that sparks the processes. You can even gather enough people to carry out whatever change you have in mind. But you, by yourself, cannot change an entire planet. I won’t fuel such a delusion of grandeur.
Duly Noted is a wonderful article. Me being a military spouse and trying to connect to the real world, your article stands out most. When I type in leaders or life coaches in twitter to search, only a few good ones come up but in the end they make me feel stupid, crazy, perhaps the devil for not recognizing them in a timely fashion or simply like a barking dog. Anyway you young one keep writing cause you do make a difference in this world!! I’m just trying to get motivated to blog and continue to learn and share. Peace & Love